Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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