I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
