he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
