I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
