I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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