drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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