Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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