Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
