In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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