Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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