but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
