a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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