That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
