I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
