Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am available for nakedness
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
