Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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