I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize