The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
