i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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