wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
