He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
