Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
