Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
