My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
