If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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