What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
