At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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