I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
