i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
