Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
