Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
