I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
