don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
