It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
