We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
