Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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