i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
