How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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