It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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