i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
