That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
