i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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