the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize