its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
