So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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