It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize