Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize