Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
