In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
