Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
