Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
