Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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