come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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