D3 body, D1 cock
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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