i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
