He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
