i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
