i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
