the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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