i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
