All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
