Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize