my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he thought i was a dude.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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