I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
