I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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