maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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